Control v. Agency
It is hard to live at the mercy of a global pandemic.
All the areas that have routinely felt as if they are in my control have been exposed like loose electrical wires flailing around; dangerous to catch and dangerous to allow to freely thrash about. But what if those analogous wires that seem to threaten my home and those I want to keep safe were never meant to be in my control in the first place? Is it possible to make peace with the chaos and press into purpose regardless of circumstance? I believe it is and the answer may lie in a very important distinction of terminology. Control is defined as, ‘the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events.’ I want to contrast this concept with agency, defined as ‘ the capacity for human beings to make choices and to impose those choices on the world, agency also invests a moral component into a given situation.’ With the first concept we are ever striving and fighting to make pieces fit and people do what we deem as best, with the other we are reacting to what we cannot change and making the best decisions within that boundary. This distinction is humbling but liberating. The things out of our control are always in the hands of the Lord, what a holy privilege to leave them there and enact agency to build a life that magnifies the creative freedom and gifts we’ve been given. You and I have agency to choose the attitude we greet our children with, whether they are schooling from home or heading off to a school day away from home. We have agency to make our marriages of primary importance when distractions vie for our attention. We have agency to choose the scent, sound and visual impact of our home regardless of the mounting fear and panic that rage outside our doors. We have agency to draw out our children’s internal ability to think, create and engage in possibilities regardless of the limitations of education this year. We have agency to develop habits of thoughtfulness and kindness toward those we live with despite irritations that plans have not gone the ways we hoped. We have agency to choose to speak words of life over our children who are also dealing with the frustrations of their current circumstances. We have agency to grab hold of the child struggling, embrace them with patience and redirect them allowing them freedom to struggle and wrestle without taking the barbs personally. We have agency to put away the math lesson for another day when it’s causing more friction than learning. We have agency to blow off the to-do list and get ice cream with the child who needs grace. We have agency to light a candle, set the table and feast with those we love because it is an antidote to the darkness around us and a pathway to family unity. We have agency to make brownies on a hard day, not because the act of eating a brownie fixes the busyness, loneliness, anxiety or burnout that pervade society but because it can be an act of connection, restoration and love to simply eat together.
Be encouraged, there is much for us to do, much that we can do, much that we must do…and while we figure that out, let’s make brownies.
Overly Decadent Brownies for such a time as this
1 cup butter, melted + cooled
2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
1 1/4 cup sugar
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
4 eggs at room temperature
1 Tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup flour (all purpose, whole wheat, any)
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 cup milk chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease 9 x 11 pan. Line with parchment.
Combine butter, oil and sugars and whisk well.
Add the eggs and vanilla and whisk again.
Fold in dry ingredients.
Pour batter into 9 x 13 pan and smooth.
Bake for 30 minutes or until done.
Let sit 15 minutes, then remove from pan
some notes:
don’t overmix the batter when adding flour or brownies will be tough, stir until just combined
don’t overbake, start checking brownies five minutes before timer
in order to have a ‘fudgy’ brownie, you need more fats than flour, this recipe will yield a perfectly fudgy texture - but play around with the ratio if your day calls for a more cake-like texture
be creative: add in candy pieces or nuts or differently flavored chocolate chips
have fun and serve warm
topped with ice cream? you have agency;)